blog

3/1/2026

I should probably think about what I want to achieve this year. In no particular order of importance:

1. Read. I aim to read at least one book per month. I used to love reading and did it for hours as a child. I'm sure many can relate. Then I entered secondary school, and everything began to decline from there. Because of the internet? Because I lost the will to live? Who knows, but I intend to change it.
2. Lose weight. I never had a problem with maintaining my weight. But since I turned 30, it has become a challenge. Especially during a hard time in my life filled with stress. I weigh 68 kg, and my goal is to go back to 55~57 kg. It should be achievable within a year, but I'm aiming to get there in six months.
3. Translate one book. I want to become a literary translator. Working independently and being busy in a creative way attracts me. Not the best career choice, I know. Literary translators are underpaid, so a side job is a must. I'm already in my mid-thirties with no job experience, which is to say I'm already "cooked", so I might as well go for something I like to do. Homeownership and retirement won't be an option for me anyway.
4. Learn to do my hair. I have curly hair, and I want to take care of it properly. I want to style my hair with minimal frizz. I already bought a Denman brush today, and I'm looking forward to practicing with it.
5. Learn to do make-up. I grew up in a religiously conservative household, and I was never allowed to wear makeup. I remember this one time, a friend put mascara on my eyelashes and I went home forgetting about it. My mother turned cold, scoffing and insulting me. It took me a while to realize why, since I'd completely forgotten the mascara. I guess it seemed completely normal to act as if your daughter decided to become a whore while all she did was come home with mascara on... Anyway, being bullied for being ugly didn't help me either. I gave up on trying to do make-up (even sneakingly in my room so no one would see) as there was nothing that could fix my face anyway. All the more to finally learn to do make-up anyway. I aim for two looks: a simple everyday look and a more elaborate one.

I think I should stop here. I am extremely lazy after all, and five goals for this year seems more than enough. These aren't the easiest to achieve either, especially translating an entire book. But putting this out here is a first step. Let's pray for a good 2026.

1/1/2026

Finally. After creating this website a little less than a year ago, I vow to make something of it from today onwards. Very fitting for the first of January. New Year’s resolution. Let's see how long I can do this for.

This takes me back to the good old days of MySpace. I miss the old internet—a strange nostalgia. I don't want to go back in terms of my life. But I don't like where I’m at now either.

Two days ago, I decided to do something before the end of the year 2025. I decided to donate blood for the first time in my life. I was a little nervous. First time going to the donation center, and it showed because I was standing in the way while waiting for a chair to be emptied. It was pretty busy when I arrived. Finally, I was able to take a seat after standing uncomfortably, enduring stares at my apparent awkwardness.

For first-timers, only 450 ml of blood is drawn (if I remember correctly, because I was nodding without really listening). It all went okay until the machine was beeping to notify that the bag was filled with blood (it was a pretty nice color too, deep red, almost purple). While the nurse told me she would be with me in a minute, I suddenly felt my vision turning black. I tried to fight it, but the next thing I knew, I was gone on a trip to another dimension.

After what feels like ages, but probably just a few minutes irl, I see two nurses hovering over me. The needle in my arm was removed. I could feel the people in the chairs next to me staring. How embarrassing, I fainted. "Completely common, it happens one in two times," said the nurse. Of course it had to happen to me...

A doctor came to check on me and asked if I was okay and if I felt nauseous, which I didn't. I sipped on a can of Coke that the nurse gave me. I quietly finished the can, then sat in the waiting area and ate a biscuit the center provided. After making sure I could make my way back home, I left.

So this was how I ended the year 2025...